When I first painted for some galleries back in the 2000 era, I had my first taste of finding some followers of an artist hate change. "You need to do the big red ones, I can sell those fast," said one [jerk] gallery guy. He kind of was right, at the moment. But I could not paint red all the time. It depended on the weather and time of year, etc.
When I switched to more abstracts, one buyer said she missed my 'cartoon style". Ouch. I had no idea I had a cartoon style. Recently someone said I should be painting, perhaps? You go with the muse, and if you don't, you're doing it for someone else. And when I was younger, I was always trying to climb ladders, get in shows, galleries, be like that person, etc. etc. I was my own band, but I can see now that for the first time in my life I'm as free as an artist as I've ever been. I also have a paid mortgage and live very simply and like it that way...so, I had other responsibilities in '96 when I started and had to work hard as a single woman to get to where I am financially.
When Sundance sold out and got rid of most of the old staff including my art buyer who was so supportive of so many of us, I knew it was a big shift. I used to get a lot of sales from people that would go to Sundance and then find me later. Every painting would sell. Sales have been really bad this year, but I was out of commission for a while, and to be honest...for some reason...I'm not that worried about it. I guess because I'm alive! And I'm loving my clay work. Clay was right there to help me move on, just like it was back in college. I will paint still, but how, when, we'll see. I have a canvas I want to paint over. I woke up the other day thinking of it, hw I wanted to cover most of it up in beiges. I might paint over all of them out there. They were all done for Sundance, and I can tell I was painting for them, with my heart in it, but not totally for me. I mean, you have to make a living with some of the output. People are always wondering about another book. And I would love to have my animal stories see a book and a wider audience. Maybe it will happen after I'm dead! It seems to work that way sometimes. But to be honest, I know I can still write a book, I'm not sure I have it in me to self publish again, and I'm not sure I'd do a good job with all the elements that go into that since I do it alone.
So...change. It's always there. It's unsettling. But oh so...growth worthy! The leaves change all the time and nobody gets upset with that. But a painter turns to clay, or a folk singer gets an electric guitar, or a pizza shop starts adding sandwiches into the menu and followers either leave, or they embrace it. Neither option is wrong. I think of all the musicians I've followed since I was about 8, and how most evolved into their work...Joni Mitchell is a good example. Bob Dylan... I heard some bag of hot air blogger say he liked the Dylan optic movie a lot, and he said of the real Dylan "Those were his best days as a musician, he has never done anything up to the same level." I wanted to reach through the screen. I highly disagree. For a near 80 year old write to say a then 20 year old musician had his best days 60 years ago....wreaked of his own ageism. His music has only gotten richer, more layered. And one of his songs, "Murder Most Fowl in 2020, when I first heard it, I said to Martyn, "That is his new 'Blowin' in the Wind"". Daivid Bryne, Marianne Faithful, Paul SImon's latest...on the list too.
I guess this is a long winded way of saying, I'm enjoying clay, it speaks to me, and I like my wonky, crooked bowls I'm building. I appreciate there are a still a few people sticking around to see what evolves.
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