The reality of now...hiding behind the farm gate where it feels safer

I was walking out of the room at the skin doctor and I couldn’t remember which way the exit was and this very elderly gentleman with a cane said, 

“Follow me “ so I did. I caught up to him since he was so slow and thanked him and he said, 

“You might want to pass me, most people are faster than me,” 

and I said, “Well we could enjoy the views together as we walk.” And we did. 

We have a lovely setting for our little hospital clinic in Damariscotta right on the water with panoramic views. So we walked, slowly and chatted and I told him I’m glad he used his cane and many don’t want to use them. He told me how he needs his cane to survive. He was so nice or seemed so. I thought of my father who like many elders probably considered a health visit like a social opportunity. Oddly, since I work alone and rarely leave the farm (pretty much by choice but also because of time) I too enjoy the chats I have on my many doctor visits. Today my skin doctor and I discussed apples-he grows them. Anyway… the old gent said goodbye to all the desk staff, by name, and said “see you next week, Loves,” and then he looked at me and said “good day, love”. 

It hit me like a thunderbolt. The power of human connection. Like I could almost have cried, and grabbed him and held him and sought human touch. 

I just have been holding back from it for a year or so. It's as if I see people since the last '24 election as understanding me or hating me. I work with many people that voted differently than me. It has never been a problem in all my years. my first election was 1976. But I never felt hated by 'the other side' in all the years I've been alive. I do now. I make a point to not partake in FB comments, nor do I post anything political now. Some might say that is a cop out, but most of the people I know who post these things are talking to their own tribe-there is not any real persuasion going on, nor true conversations going on.

I've never branded entire swaths of people into groups as this or that. I've never labeled 'rural people' as ignorant-I know many, I am one by choice, but Martyn and I have always worked with the rural people for over 20 years. We've always worked with the migrants. We've also worked with many entitled rich, white people. Some rural people are ignorant, and fearful, and racist. So are many rich, entitled white people in the city. There's ignorance on both 'sides', and more empathy is needed by everyone. What's so funny about peace, love and understanding?

I'm a centrist, always have been. I don't like extreme anything-weather, food, or people. I know there are some that assume I'm a liberal or this or that. I'm not. I'm registered as a D only because I wanted to vote in primaries. I voted Republican once in my early years. That was a different time.  I believe in sharing your wealth no matter what you have-if you don't have wealth in money you can share something else-your empathy, your baked bread, your skills, your time. I think most rural people I know feel and act this way...maybe more than a lot of city folk-and it doesn't matter which 'side' they are on. So many people what things to change overnight or in a year. They are ignorant how government works. I'm a believer in civic classes from kindergarten through grade 12. Seriously.

I have very few people here or anywhere I feel comfortable talking to about any of this. And that is really the only way things might be helped. So I'm part of the problem. I talked to someone I love and care about and feel safe with about immigration. He listened to my thoughts. I could tell he hadn't thought of it like I had. He was not a hater. But her had bought into [I surmised] the idea that immigrants here are taking things from the locals. I just don't agree. They add to the environment here. Out west, you could not get a white guy to work on Martyn's labor crew in the field-if you did, they lasted a week at best. The hispanics were the most hard working guys. This idea the out of work white people will go work in jobs migrants do...laughable. And yet they are seen as 'taking things' they don't deserve. They deserve every fricking penny. Go work in a field for 10 hours. 

I also know that the people that sit on FB and spout in the comments-such as the person I mentioned above-would never say it to my face. But I have a succinct grouping of words I plan to say if I see this person, and I will run into him someday at the grocery store, probably his favorite isle of the hard liquer. I find it interesting this person has made his money for years in this region of Maine [midcoast is very blue, and well off] and he made money off of me and Martyn-and we are not rich as you know-so it's still okay for him to take the money of 'people like me'. 

So, when that old man said, "Good day, Love," it melted my crusted exterior. He might not vote like me, he might fear immigrants or he might be sharing meals with them every day...but the point is, we all can share something together...and go from there. It's how I try to approach the people I know are on the other side...find that one common thing and build on-from that comes empathy and teaching to both of us.